I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
