I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
