ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
