No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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