You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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