I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize