I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
