I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
