Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I FOUND THE LEGS
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