Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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