Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
