the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize