you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
