You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
