I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
