Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
