My first STD was from a foam party
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Randomize