hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
