Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the condom got lost in my hair
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
