No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize