wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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