The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize