Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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