I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
