she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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