let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
