Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
