I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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