theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Drunk is a universal language darling
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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