love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
