In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
