It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize