dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
