Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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