Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
