Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
