yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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