Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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