Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We smell like vodka and hangover
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
