just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
it glows. i had to have it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
