I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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