Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize