Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
