I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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