What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
