The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
