feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
