dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
