She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize