Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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