its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
