She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We don't watch enough power rangers
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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