I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
