We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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