Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
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