he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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