So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
