im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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