I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
