On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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