fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Randomize
