I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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