omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
