Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
