remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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