I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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