I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize