Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
