the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
