I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
