She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
