I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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