Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
