Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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