There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
